"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
