office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
They took my balls.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
