I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
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