Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
