I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
