Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
He felt like a one man threesome
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
