why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
