just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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