You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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