I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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