This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
