Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
