worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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