You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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