Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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