So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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