I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
