Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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