don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
