I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Randomize
