It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
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