There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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