Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
