i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
