We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
