you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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