pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
