My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
