I just made out with a guy for $7.
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Randomize
