pedialite and red bull = repair kit
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Randomize
