how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
