Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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