Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Randomize
