just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Randomize
