She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
