Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
His nipple licking is glorious
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