Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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