im having a threesome with these popsicles
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
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