After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
