She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
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