covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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