I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
