I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
