I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
