he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
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