i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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