the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
