That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
