Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
so much tequila, so little girl.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
