hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
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