I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
