I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Randomize
