We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
