Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Randomize
