Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
