he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
