Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
